Geriatric cyborg vs. attention-deficit vampire.

The ADHD Vampire

By Matthew Vaughn

 

Publisher: Journalstone

Pub. Date:  February 16, 2015

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Horace Dracul is the half-brother of Dracula. His more legendary sibling didn't think much of him and now it is Horace's time to conquer and devour the humans. His coffin is discovered and opened on the deck of a cruise ship catering to the sexual whims of the geriatric crowd. Horace, despite his short attention span and difficulty staying on task, plans to have a splendid meal of the senior citizens and might even turn a few into his brides. However Martha, a retired cyborg spy, is about to make his dream of conquest a very difficult one.

OK. First impression of The ADHD Vampire. This is silly. Second impression. This is fun! Third impression. Does this cruise ship actually exist sans vampire? Where does a senior citizen sign up? Fourth impression. This is really silly. Fifth and final impression. I'm gonna read it again!

Matthew Vaughn specializes in silly. He does it well and is not afraid to push the envelope. Sometimes he just doesn't push the envelope but drags it screaming into the pool and holds its head under the water, laughing at the bubbles. Actually, he does that a lot. This funny novel is full of kink and gore yet it is the type of comic violence that works as an escape for the reader. It's hard to take a senior citizen cyborg spy vs. attention-deficit vampire too seriously. This is fantasy, folks! For its 88 pages, the novella stays at full speed ahead until all the damage and violence is done and the reader gets a few laughs and groans for his money.

The ADHD Vampire works best as a romp. It is an easy night's read for most readers. It is funny in a gross sort of way and is clearly not for the easily offended and squeamish. Yet I like the author's just-throw it-out-there style which I suspect is as fun to write as to read.While it is not as over-the-top as his Mother F'ing Black Skull of Death, it is still pretty wild. What both books has in common beside the extreme sex and violence is that there is no attempt at a social message. It is just meant to be an entertaining ride. I think I liked The ADHD Vampire a little more, ironically because it is slightly less extreme than his other novel. But be aware. That "slightly less extreme" is a judgement call.

So here's the bottom line. Don't like gore and violence or you don't have a twisted sense of humor? Stay away. But if you do, read it. And if you don't have a twisted sense of humor, why are you reading a review of something called The ADHD Vampire in the first place?